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phoenixofwar

CAUSE I CAN DAMNIT!
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Abandoned.

1 min read
Yerp. I have pretty much abandoned DA. Other than the massive list of ongoing anime and anime I've seen that I have. Which I might copy onto a word document since it's a pain in the ass to edit that thing. I just thought I'd write a journal, saying I rarely get on anymore. so yeah
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Hello people. It's been about two months soooo I figured I'd give you an update on meh life.

Yes I know it's reeaaallly late. It's 2:10 AM right now, but my insomnia has kicked into an all time high lately. And don't completely blame it on tech because I actually lay in bed for an hour and a half and try to sleep every night but it's no bueno. Probably from stress.

Merg my math teacher knows I'm actually Algebraically challenged, but yet she's an ass about it. I have an F in math because she doesn't explain things to me that I need explained and then gets me in trouble when I have my mom and dad help me T.T The worse part is, in my type of school she's my math teacher all of my Highschool years. I'm not shooting for any special grade, a D and my parent's want a C but my parent's are constantly nagging me about my F. I feel horrible about that and with all their bagging I feel worse about it. I can't go online and look at my grade without vomiting.

Not only that but we are attempting to pull the money together to move and build a house. The thing is when we move there is no garuntee that we are going to rent a house. Probably a modified shop or a trailer until we get the house built. I can't do that, I need privacy, I need my space and I need to get away from my brother. My baby brother annoys the hell out of me, not only that but he purposely gets in trouble just to scare me. My father is tempermental and yells a lot, and I'm afraid of yelling. It scares me to no end getting yelled at by someone who's angry. My brother knows that and gets himself in trouble because he enjoys seeing me freaking out or scared. And he enjoys getting me in trouble. Like, I hate when people touch my neck, so he randomly touches my neck and when I punch him I get in trouble for hitting him when he's the one being an ass. So now I can't punch him so he puts his hand on my neck just to hear me scream. If I were to be stuck in one room with them I'd go crazy, I wouldn't be able to take it. I'm already depressed as is and have way too many problems. Being in such a confined space with them would be worse.

And on top of that the house owners we are renting our house from decided to put this on the market. Meaning we have to find another place to rent until we get the money we need. The worse part is, they gave us no forewarning. We found out when the realitor showed up for a walk through one day.

wow this turned into a rant but meh... it just needs to get out I guess.

I know, a 14 year old shouldn't be worrying about any of this, maybe the grades stuff but I am. Because I don't want to suddenly have to live out of our truck for a couple of weeks because the house sold and the owners kicked us out. I don't know, I'm just overwhelmed and afraid, I've been writing more than normal to just get away. On that note, I finished Butler's Return after a fucking year. But now I have three more fan fics and an original four part to write. All well. It's how shit works I guess.

Heh I'm tired now, and it's been just over 30 minutes since I started typing. Emotions sure are tiring. It twas nice getting this out, even if no one reads it it helped me.

Night.

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Hacker

1 min read

There is a hacker going around and this one is a bad one.... -.- if he hacks your account he will post pornographic pictures especially a male's nether regions. And he will delete all of your watchers and he will write a journal saying "I hate you all. Go die" please if something were to happen to me please understand that I got hacked. As you all know I would never go and tell all of you I hated you all. I love all of my friends to bits. Please spread this around because if he knows you know about him he might not hack you.

I got this off a friend's journal, frankly I'd rather not be hacked, especially if this guy is going to be posting porn on my account. (Mom and dad would kill me -.-) But if it does happen then know it's not actually me.

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The best way to make someone happy is to always be there for them no matter what. Is to always listen, no matter what they tell you or how many times they talk about it. To love them unconditionally and to look up to and cherish them. To truly see them as strong, and beautiful, not weak and worthless. To strive for and make it a goal to help make that person happy as much as you possibly can. Life is short, and life is painful, and people deserve to be happy. So don't be a fake friend, don't be a lust driven lover, and don't abandon them. Stick by their side, love and care about them. Listen when they need to be heard, listen when they need to speak, love them when they need loved, cherish and treasure them when they need to feel like they matter, and trust them. Trust them with things you can't even admit to yourself.

Even if it's the same mantra everytime, the same words coming from their mouth, listen to them. Because it matters to them, they need to be heard, they need to feel like they are heard, understood and loved. Never pretend you care, because it only hurts them even more. Everyone has that one someone who will always be there, no matter what. They'll listen, they'll love, they'll cherish, they'll protect and look up to that one person. So don't pretend, go out, go find that one person you'll listen to, you'll love and cherish, you'll protect and look up to. Don't pretend, don't be fake, don't pretend to care about their feelings, pretend to care about their happiness, pretend to be their everything, when they mean nothing to you.

Be willing to stand by their side, to give your life to protect that person... and be willing to walk away, be willing to come back. If it makes them happy, then be willing to walk away and never return. Be willing to come back once they realize that they made a mistake when they let you go. Be forgiving, we are only human. We will all screw up at one point, so be forgiving, forgive and forget, and carry on with your lives. Make them feel loved, like they matter and they aren't worthless and weak, and they will return those feelings.

Just make sure that they know that they matter in your life.... because you matter in theirs.

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O.O

1 min read
Spiders where I live are very perverted.... tis all I will say......
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Featured

Abandoned. by phoenixofwar, journal

Don't have to read, just a rant by phoenixofwar, journal

Hacker by phoenixofwar, journal

Vent/rant, feel free to ignore by phoenixofwar, journal

O.O by phoenixofwar, journal